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The Adams Report
by J.C. Adams
10/24/00
Vol. 3, No. 45
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.
—John W. Raper
You know, it’s been one of those kinds of weeks. I’ve been so immersed in porn (Yeah, yeah. I know. Poor little me), that I dashed into a Burger King for a quick bite, and ordered “cock” instead of “Coke” with my BK Broiler and onion rings. I certainly gave the weary teenager taking my order a lovely jolt. One would think working all day in a fast food emporium situated a block north of the hoodlums, nutballs and tourists wandering Hollywood Boulevard would desensitize one to such things, but apparently that isn’t true.
After a long, slow summer the various XXX studios are just beginning to gear up for awards season, which these days means the Adult Video News “GayVN” Awards. The Gay Erotic Video Awards are history, and no one really knows who votes on the Men in Video Awards, so the GayVNs are, by default, the only real ticket in town.
As a side note: Big Daddy Ferguson and the reviewers of Gay Chicago magazine administer the Grabby Awards in early summer, and you know they’re gaining in prestige when Mr. Kristen “Awards Mean Nothing to My Unit Sales” Bjorn slaps a “Grabby Award Winner” sticker on his video boxes. I’ve always believed porno companies ought to take advantage of things like awards. Anything to distinguish your product from the dreck littering shelves these days.
One more note before I get into this month’s selection of tidbits and newsy items: Some of you felt I was too harsh on the films of director Edward James last month. To them I say, have you seen some of his films? They’re not all bad, but they certainly aren’t very good, either. Hey, to each his own. Que sera sera. But don’t send me snippy emails because your standards are lower than mine. After all, I have to watch this stuff for a living!
Moving on:
• A venue has been set for the fifth Men in Video Awards (formerly called “The Probies.” Do yourself a favor—don’t mistakenly call them the damned Probies anymore. Apparently some organizers (not you, Nick) don’t like it when you do that. Whatever. If you’re in Boys Town on Friday, December 15, then pop on over to Rage on Santa Monica Boulevard at 9 pm, hand over eight bucks at the door, and start ogling the porn studs in attendance. Trophies really aren’t the point of the Men in Video Awards. Rather, partying and schmoozing are the order of business. Chi Chi LaRue will host the show, and as mentioned in previous columns, this year’s edition of the MIVAs are in the capable hands of Nick DiMartino, an Adult Video News omsbudsman, and manager of such adorable stud pups as Austin Reeves and Zach Richards (a longtime crush of mine.)
• Those of you with Playgirl subscriptions may want to pay close attention to the December issue. Dreamboat Eric Hanson will not only appear inside, but he’ll grace the cover as well. Ah, Eric. How can one man be so gosh-darned handsome? I met him in person for the first time last year at the GayVN Awards, and found him to be a mite shy (they always are), and, surprisingly, rather droll and witty. He and Max Grand were hanging out together, posing for pictures, signing autographs, and the like. Between them, there was enough male beauty to turn Jesse Helms into a shrieking queen.
• Eric Hanson, Part II: Mr. Hanson’s agent, David Forest, has been trumpeting from the rooftops the news that E.H. and fellow Forest Ranger Jeremy Tucker have been signed to model a new line of “exotic” underwear for International Male. While many IM models have gone on to erotica careers after they appeared in the catalogue, this pair represents one of the few instances when models have been hired because they’re erotic stars. And while even my grandmother knows it’s mostly gay men who patronize IM, the clothing chain has generally taken the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ approach that Playgirl adopted years ago. In any case, it’s certainly worth noting when a change does occur, however incremental. It should also be noted that Eric and Jeremy will be appearing on IM’s new Maximum Exposure website (www.MaximumExposure.com), and not, as yet, in the catalogue. Mr. Forest tells me that possibility remains open.
• As many of you undoubtedly know, none other than Madonna chose a quartet of Mr. Forest’s clients—Caesar, Nino Bacci, Jeremy Tucker, Jeff Palmer—to go-go dance at the Los Angeles release party for her new CD, Music. The local alternative paper L.A. Weekly, in their write-up of the shindig, dutifully listed the various celebrites in attendance, then ticked off a list of the “really cool” crowd, and named the exuberant Mr. Palmer among them.
• Cutie-pie director Drew Warner recently kicked off production on a new line of videos called Open Trench. Plans are to release three films a year that cover various fetishes (fetishii?). Look for leather and jockstraps, shaving and “light bondage” in the first series. Former TITAN Media stud-rocket Michael Vincenzo and newcummer Rafael (who hails from Belgium of all places) mere moments ago popped their loads to conclude the first scene from Dungeon, the Open Trench debut title. Look for it in February. “We really hit the jackpot with those two,” Mr. Warner boasts. “They were into each other from the moment they met. As a director, that’s the kind of chemistry you dream about.”
Quick Takes
• Gorgeous Nick Yeager—now costarring in Echoes from Men of Odyssey—has packed up his jock strap and toothbrush and moved to Costa Rica. When I asked Chi Chi LaRue why he’d do such a thing, she blurted, “Because he loves hot, cheesy, uncut, South American cock!” I admire that kind of dedication.
• Madame Dish sold out the entire six-week run of her “environmental comedy” Strip! BARE-ly Legal II—The Full Dish at the Globe Playhouse in West Hollywood. Co-star Eric Evans stole the show, hands down (damn, that man’s lookin’ good these days).
• Speaking of Ms. Dish: the dragstress will be soon be appearing weekdays on a major cable network in his/her very own chat/cooking show. Stay tuned for the scrumptious details.
• Can you guess which hunky star, the minute his action/drama series was canceled, got on the horn, ordered up a bunch of naked porno stars, and threw himself a weeklong orgy?
• Can you guess which mostly-retired porno star (a mature, rough-trade type) was whisked off in late September for several weeks of luxurious decadence in the south of France by his gazillionaire lover?
• Despite the announcement of his “retirement” last month, Dean Phoenix assures me he’d consider a return to XXX for the right project. “Right now, I just want to concentrate on being myself, and not Dean Phoenix,” he told me. If anyone deserves a vacation, it’s that guy.
• Rumors have been zipping around the Internet that Hal Rockland has returned to porn. It ain’t true. The rumors were fueled by a Falcon Studios advertisement that featured a picture of Hal in his heyday (several years back). But still––it was nice to receive a fresh reminder of this breathtakingly gorgeous Rockand sibling.
• It’s also not true––well, not entirely––that post-production studio Aries Post has closed its doors. Aries, founded by porn legend Kevin Glover, instead reduced its number of editing bays to three (down from nine), and Mr. Glover is now pretty much manning the ship alone. Model-turned-editor Adam Rom now works for Can-Am Productions, while Andrew Rosen was snapped up by All Worlds Video. Stay tuned for an interview with Mr. Glover that will set the story straight.
Faversham…
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